‘’But I can see us lost in the memory
August slipped away into a moment in time
’Cause it was never mine’’ — August by Taylor Swift
I love how Taylor Swift’s describing her feeling through songs. A song called ‘August’ was one of my favorite. August just sounds like such a pretty month and it reminds me of a fantasy books and just happy things and growth and ever since Taylor’s released that damn song i always have such high expectations for August every year but it always ends up not very well enough.
There’s a lyrics in ‘August’ that made my heart ache a little everytime i heard it played. It says ‘’Back when we were still changin’ for the better. Wanting was enough. For me, it was enough. To live for the hope of it all’’.
No, it’s not poetic at all compared to another lyrics in Taylor’s song but it makes me nostalgic about ‘our situation’.
I mean, it’s Me and His situation. In that time.
It was late august.
For me, it was the end of beginnings and the beginning to ends; a horrifying paradox. It’s the lonely and uncomfortable pause between warmth and coldness. Somehow time moves faster, but there is still so much left to do.
We were in love.
I was also happy.
There’s time when he told me to ‘’watch the door’’ which meant he had ordered food for me. That was his way of saying ‘’i love you.’’ and i loved that.
There’s time when he brings me red roses and books. When he wrote all his feelings on it.
It says,
‘’Reasons why i love her.’’
‘’I’m so lucky to meet you.’’
‘’Message for you.’’
‘’Have a great day, my love.’’
‘’I love you. You complete me.’’
‘’I’ll always be here if you need me. We can go through all this process together!’’ and bla bla bla.
You lied.
About the last sentences. You’re not even be here when i need you the most in that time. And you know what, the fact that we cannot go through the process together hurt me even more.
You left me.
You are stopped being in love and being loved by me.
It was late August.
When the tea pot was whistling in my kitchen while rain tapped softly on the roof. I sat on the kitchen table, realising that everything has changed around me. That slowly i was losing the only person i have ever loved. Crazy how only a couple months can change people entirely. I reaches for the tea pot until i notices a slight dent in it.
So, i guess I wasn’t the only thing hurt by others around me.
Sometimes it hurts. It hurts so much that you feel like your chest will cave in and the only thing stopping it was the gasps of air you take in between the tears.
But, you know what after all this time. After the tears coming out of my eyes for months i still want you to be happy. I want someone else to knew the warmth of your smile, to feel the way i do when i was in your presence. I want you to know how happy you once made me and though you really did hurt me, in the end, i was better for it.
Relate to the lyrics i’ve mentioned earlier. We have tried changing for the better. I’ve been wanting everything to get better but it was enough. It was just a hope. Cause we were giving up. Not only you, but both of us.
I slowly losing him.
Losing us.
And it was happen in late August.
